Live Like You Are Dying!!!!

Tim McGraw knew what he was doing when he wrote that song. It's something we should all do.  If you've never heard it, I encourage you to do so. I guess the majority of our population do not think about things like this because they've never had that moment. That one moment. That moment when time stops and you realize, this could be it, this could be the real end. What in the world have I been doing with my life? Working? Stressing?

The thing is, there is so much I want to do and experience while I am able and feel good enough to do it. I've seen so many people that have been diagnosed with various of illnesses decline, quite frankly, in all honesty, this girl is scared. Everyone tells me, "you're going to beat this", I appreciate the sentiments, I really do. It's just that, I don't know I'll beat it. There are two places I can be fine. I will be fine no matter what happens.

So, my dilemma right now is not which medical trail to enroll in or what medications to take. My dilemma is to do what I want to accomplish before I'm put in a wheelchair, in the hospital or on an oxygen tank, I want to go places and see things. I want to ride in one of those airplanes that actually give you a bed (Delta) and go to Europe. I want to see Venice, see Buckingham Palace in London and try to make a guard laugh. I know it sounds silly. I should be worried about staying alive and researching and how each scan will turn out. But quite frankly my boo's, I don't give a damn right now. I want to do so much, but it's all "just in case". I don't want to be so sick I can't enjoy my bucket list. By then, I won't even feel like doing that.

I have had a wonderful life so far, I can't complain. I've been many places and experienced many things. So, if none of those bucket items come true, I'll be okay. As long as I have my family. We can just go to Vegas and probably do all of those things AND see some pyramids AND Elvis. This living in limbo just sucks. It sucks so bad. I feel bad complaining because of all of the friends I have that are worse off, but I couldn't sleep so I decided to just come on out with it. So, there it is. I want a bed on a plane!

Thank you all for your continuous prayers for me and my family. It was days that I didn't think I was going to see the New Year, so most of all thank you God for getting me here. I'm not losing my faith, I'm planning my life with your guidance. God bless you all!!

Happy New Year and thank you for continuing to read my blogs. It's a roller coaster.....but it's worth the ride.

How are you living like you are dying, please comment below!!!!