Caregivers

It's been a couple of days since my last post, but something has been weighing on my mind lately.

Sometimes, us cancer patients get so wrapped up in our journey, that we forget how hard it is on the people that care about us.  I'm going to use my children as an example, because they have been my rocks, yet watching them see their mother go through so much has to be the most awful thing in the world.  To me, I would rather go through this myself than have them go through it, both emotionally and physically.  So the toll it has to take on them is indescribable. 

You see, I know where I'm going one day.  I know that day may be sooner than them, but with all the new drugs coming out, it may very well be later.  But, I know we are all going to the same place, HOME.  That, in itself, is comforting.  Royce & Alexis have a great love for each other and loves one another more than the world, that gives me more peace, they will be safe and taken care of by each other, they have a bond like one never seen before by a brother and sister.

Sometimes, you don't think about these things when life is going well.  But when it takes a turn for the worse, it can consume you if you don't have your religion and your support system in place. 

I feel like right now, my kids need prayers.  I know Royce, Lex, my mom, my dad, sisters, brothers, and my other close friends need prayer too.  But, as a mother myself, I feel like it's different.  Plus, so far we have lost many family members. Lex is a senior in high school and have dreams of going to college and becoming part of the medical field.  Compile that on with the stress of having a mother with stage 4  Ovarian Cancer and it's a recipe for disaster.  I don't know how she holds it together so well, but she does. 

I do know that they love me more than anything, even when I'm fussing.  It's different now.  Cancer has done some good for us.  We communicate so much better.  And we don't take our time together for granted.  We forgive easily.

As much as cancer sucks, from now on, I'm going to try and point out one positive thing it brought into my life by the grace of God.  And in this post, that positive thing is the relationship I have with my children that has brought us closer than ever. "My 2 Piece"  I'm so blessed to have been given such a dysfunctional, yet loving, funny, charismatic family.  We all group text....making each other laugh and we are all so much closer even though our physical distance is so much greater.  So for that cancer, I thank you,  But, the rest of you still sucks until I point out another positive on my next post, lol.

So, next time you're saying your prayers, please pray for peace for my kids.  I plan on being here for as long as God allows.  And I'm going to be happy doing it because every day is a gift, even the ones where I binge watch TV all day and do nothing...because I enjoy those things.  I've had a great life so far.  I have no regrets. And Royce & Lex, if you're reading this, I couldn't have been the way I am in this fight without you both being by my side every step of the way.  Now, we just need to figure out where we going on a family trip.  And I love you both so much.  Thank you, my babies, my 2 piece 'I'm the pepper", lol, 

Thank you all for your continuous support and prayers.  Please pray for all of the caregivers out there.  I think this journey is harder on them than it is us.

What about you?

How has your caregiver affected you through this journey?