Tim McGraw knew what he was doing when he wrote that song. It's something we should all do. If you've never heard it, I encourage you to do so. I guess the majority of our population do not think about things like this because they've never had that moment. That one moment. That moment when time stops and you realize, this could be it, this could be the real end. What in the world have I been doing with my life? Working? Stressing?
The thing is, there is so much I want to do and experience while I am able and feel good enough to do it. I've seen so many people that have been diagnosed with various of illnesses decline, quite frankly, in all honesty, this girl is scared. Everyone tells me, "you're going to beat this", I appreciate the sentiments, I really do. It's just that, I don't know I'll beat it. There are two places I can be fine. I will be fine no matter what happens.
So, my dilemma right now is not which medical trail to enroll in or what medications to take. My dilemma is to do what I want to accomplish before I'm put in a wheelchair, in the hospital or on an oxygen tank, I want to go places and see things. I want to ride in one of those airplanes that actually give you a bed (Delta) and go to Europe. I want to see Venice, see Buckingham Palace in London and try to make a guard laugh. I know it sounds silly. I should be worried about staying alive and researching and how each scan will turn out. But quite frankly my boo's, I don't give a damn right now. I want to do so much, but it's all "just in case". I don't want to be so sick I can't enjoy my bucket list. By then, I won't even feel like doing that.
I have had a wonderful life so far, I can't complain. I've been many places and experienced many things. So, if none of those bucket items come true, I'll be okay. As long as I have my family. We can just go to Vegas and probably do all of those things AND see some pyramids AND Elvis. This living in limbo just sucks. It sucks so bad. I feel bad complaining because of all of the friends I have that are worse off, but I couldn't sleep so I decided to just come on out with it. So, there it is. I want a bed on a plane!
Thank you all for your continuous prayers for me and my family. It was days that I didn't think I was going to see the New Year, so most of all thank you God for getting me here. I'm not losing my faith, I'm planning my life with your guidance. God bless you all!!
Happy New Year and thank you for continuing to read my blogs. It's a roller coaster.....but it's worth the ride.
How are you living like you are dying, please comment below!!!!
My goal with this blog is to try to help others. If I can achieve that, even in the smallest way, my wish is granted and I'm rewarded with joy. I want to give back, please take, this is all for you! This blog will guide you through my journey with my diagnosis along with others and theirs. I will tell you how I felt and what I did. One important rule to keep in mind is that when it comes to any diagnosis, one size does not fit all.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
How it All Began
My name is Shantrall
Johnson. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
But most importantly, I am a SURVIVOR. Over the past decade, I have had four
victories over Metastatic Ovarian Cancer and planning to kick its butt a
fifth time as I currently undergo treatments. One thing I hope you learn from my
testimony is: Listen to your instincts and don’t let your concerns be
dismissed. You know your body better than anyone so keep pushing and asking
questions until you get answers.
My body was trying to tell me
something. I was 26 with two children and a good life ahead of me. For several
months, I’d had severe stomach problems, bloating and pain when using the
restroom. I saw various doctors who all sent me away with a prescriptions and
the assurance that it’s “no big deal.” The symptoms started to worsen and
became unbearable. A trip to the ER revealed an outcome I could have never
imagined. I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.
My first bout with cancer was
“easy.” I underwent laparoscopic surgery to remove small tumors from one of my
ovaries and escaped radiation and chemotherapy. My doctor said I was “cancer
free” and I felt invincible. This victory was short-lived, as over the next few
years it would come back in my other ovary (I got a hysterectomy) and again in
my intestines (surgery got it all out).
Several years passed. And my
three bouts with cancer had changed my perspective a lot. I was determined to
live life to the fullest. In August 2012, I got news that my cancer was back in
my abdomen but this time I would have to undergo chemotherapy. For some reason,
taking chemo and losing my hair finally made cancer real to me. I was told to
“get my affairs in order” because the survival rate was less than two years.
But cancer couldn’t compete with my God or my praying grandmother. After six
rounds of chemo/radiation, I went into remission January 2013. This is when my
faith kicked into full gear.
Two years later, cancer showed up
in my lungs. Initially, I was diagnosed with bronchitis. After it had gone on
for three months, I went to my oncologist and learned that the tumors were
wrapped around my left lung and fluid was building up. I have stage 4 Metastatic Ovarian Cancer. I prayed non-stop for God to order my steps on the
long road ahead. I am currently undergoing chemotherapy, and
have good days and bad. Cancer is a chronic illness. I will take chemo off and
on for the rest of my life. I plan on living for many, many more years. Thanks
to my village, I am doing well. I am a firm believer in “everything happens for
a reason.” God blessed me with children at a very young age because he knew I would
not be able to have them at 26. He also blessed me with challenges and
victories so that I can share my testimony with others.
I can remember being awake for 48 hours straight at one point. So one sleepless night as I was pondering my
life, the plans I had for my future and the detour I had encountered, it came to
me: Maybe I am suppose to create
something that (maybe, just maybe) might bring healing, that will allow others
to relate in a way that they , too, need healing. By the next morning, Diva with a Diagnosis
was in motion. Initially, Diva with a
Diagnosis was going to be a blog about my walk on this journey. But as I grew on my journey and have spoken
to others that have been diagnosed with all kinds of illnesses, I saw a greater
need. As survivors we understand the need to celebrate every day. We understand one another in a way no one else can.
Being diagnosed was an eye-opener
to say the least. I now understand what
it means to take care of my body and to LIVE each day. It is important for me to work towards a healthier lifestyle and
surround myself with people who lift me up.
Before being diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, I had heard very little of
it. Ovarian Cancer is often called the
“SILENT” killer because many times there are no symptoms until the disease has
progressed to an advanced stage.
One-third of American women will get some form of Cancer in their
lifetime and approximately one and one half percent of those cases will be
cancer involving one or both ovaries.
Why isn’t’ this talked about more?
Why is there not a screening test available? I, like many others, thought a Pap
smear covered everything. The truth is:
it doesn’t. Early symptoms of Ovarian Cancer are often mild, making this
disease difficult to detect. Some early
symptoms may include:
•An
unusual feeling of fullness or discomfort in the pelvic region
•Unexplainable
indigestion, gas, or bloating that is not relieved with over-the- counter
antacids.
•Pain
during sexual intercourse
•Abnormal
bleeding
•Swelling
and pain of the abdomen
Most often these symptoms do not indicate
Ovarian Cancer. However, if you experience them you should discuss
them with your doctor. Early detection
of Ovarian Cancer offers a 90% cure rate.
Sadly, a lack of symptoms from this silent disease means about 75% of
Ovarian Cancer cases will have spread to the abdomen by the time they are
detected and, unfortunately, most patients die within five years.
I celebrate my life because I have worked hard for it……….
I celebrate my life because I have worked hard for it……….
About Us
The mission of Diva With A Diagnosis is to raise awareness and encourage women and men to join the fight against all diagnosis. It's our hope that by educating others we are contributing to preventing someone from being misdiagnosed and helping find a cure. We will also celebrate victories, honor memories, empower all and educate the community of all various diagnosis.
Our purpose is simple: CELEBRATE LIFE! We celebrate life together and individually! Many of us were misdiagnosed many times before we were properly diagnosed. We pledge to be pro-active in maintaining our health, and also pledge this not only for ourselves but also for those who are yet to be diagnosed and honor the legacy of the sisters we've lost. We are all Diva's With A Diagnosis!
Our purpose is simple: CELEBRATE LIFE! We celebrate life together and individually! Many of us were misdiagnosed many times before we were properly diagnosed. We pledge to be pro-active in maintaining our health, and also pledge this not only for ourselves but also for those who are yet to be diagnosed and honor the legacy of the sisters we've lost. We are all Diva's With A Diagnosis!
Never JUDGE a book by it's cover!!!!!
You don't know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggle of others. We are all fighting some battle so don't be so quick to JUDGE!!!!
Please share to make someone's day!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Start, Stop, Continue
Start, Stop, Continue
While many people are in the implementation
phase of their New Year’s resolutions, I’m pleased to say that I’m not. This
year I’ve opted to do a Start, Stop, and Continue list compared to doing a
vision board or list of resolutions. I’m doing this because I didn’t want
a list of new goals to accomplish, but one that’s comprehensive of the good and
bad habits I want to carry over.
Last year was a roller
coast where many prayers were answered and a lot of change happen in both good
and bad ways. Overall, I feel that God used 2016 to get me back on track (since I’ve been off my game) so I’m ready for
what is to come. I don’t want 2017 to be where I forget where I’ve been and
only focus on where I want to go, but to carry over the good mindset and habits
that I adopted. Plus leave some behaviors in the past.
This is what I plan to Start, Stop, and
Continue in 2017:
Start:
Stepping out my
comfort zone and trusting where God is taking me.
Living in the present
and recognizing the blessings that I already have and the good to come.
Being selective in who
I decide to let in my inner space. Remember who you are and that you deserve
the best.
Stop:
Putting my dreams and
desires off because of excuses and fear.
Not staying in touch
with people and making an effort to communicate regularly.
Holding on to past and
mourning the things that are no longer there.
Continue:
Seeing the good in
people and believing in the best.
Seeking a relationship
with Jesus and learning more about my faith.
To remember who you
are and who’s you are. Never compromise what I know to be true.
Who want to join me
and make a list? What do you want to stop, start, continue this year?
Step Out on Faith
Step Out On Faith
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Faith
is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Sounds
easier said than done, but recently I was faced with choosing between either
faith or fear. The question I had to ask myself is do I trust God enough to
keep going even when I don’t believe in myself or where things are ahead?
To raise awareness for Ovarian Cancer and get
people talking about it, I took the initiative to write a blog about it.
I wanted to raise awareness, but more importantly I wanted to prove to myself
that I could do it after being so fatigued after chemo, and I needed to release
all the emotions I had held onto while undergoing treatments to stay strong for
my family and friends. I had been told when the time was right I would
let those emotions go. Well the time came one night and I submitted to
God and I let it all go. When I was weak, depressed, cold, lonely, and
felt defeated, I asked God for strength and guidance. When I did that, my
grandmother popped in my head, the thought of her and all the survivors that I
had met, those who I may never meet, and those looking down on me. Peace
and determination came to me and I thought: I had poison running through my
veins and every bit of my normal was taken from me…. This disease will not
defeat me. I celebrate my life because I have worked hard for it.
I’m taking a Step Out on Faith and pushing pass my comfort level to reach out and
help others fight this fight.
Isiah
41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand.”
Faith is believing in all things, not just in
the parts that we understand or comfortable with. In order to see where He’s
taking us we have to put our trust in Him because He will never leave us. He
has a plan and would not ask us to do something that would not benefit us in
some way. So we have to step out on faith.
Our Goal
My goal with this blog is to try to help others. If I can
achieve that, even in the smallest way, my wish is granted and I'm rewarded
with joy. I want to give back, please take, this is all for you! This blog will
guide you through my journey with my diagnosis along with others and theirs. I
will tell you how I felt and what I did. One important rule to keep in mind is
that when it comes to any diagnosis, one size DO NOT fit all.
My diagnosis with
CANcer is a highly sophisticated and personalized disease. What worked for me,
may not work for you, what happened to me, will probably not happen to you. The
only people capable of correctly treating you are your doctors. I have no idea
how to cure CANcer. But I'm in good company here, because nobody does.
WE ARE ALL HERE TO HELP!!!!!
Monday, January 9, 2017
Welcome to Our Blog
Hello
all and welcome to my diagnosis blog, in this blog you will get the raw and
real deal of my diagnosis. You will never hear me say I have anything, but you
will hear me say I have been diagnosed. We are not speaking or giving life to any
disease. Take a seat and let's go on this journey together.
Make yourself a nice cup of tea, take a seat on your favorite
chair, and let me guide you through my journey with CANcer. There will be
plenty of malignant tumors, thousands of mean cancerous cells and gallons of
poison, expertly named chemotherapy, flowing through my veins and the pages of
this blog.
I know it's all so exciting you can barley stand still! And just
to be on the safe side, grab a tissue box, and keep it Ready. This is not going
to be fun, but NO diagnosis is fun.
Before we dive right into my Diagnosis Diaries, lets take a few
moments and get to know each better. I consider myself the most fortunate
person from here to Timbuktu, and you know what? I might just be, don't take my
word for it we will ponder over the facts a little later.
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